Recognising it

Does your partner, boyfriend or girlfriend, flatmate, carer, or family member:

• Make you feel uncomfortable or afraid?
• Often put you down, humiliate you, or make you feel worthless?
• Constantly check up on what you are doing or where you are going?
• Try to stop you from seeing your own friends or family?
• Make you feel afraid to disagree or say ‘no’ to them?
• Constantly accuse you of flirting with others when this isn't true?
• Tell you how the household finances should be spent, or stop you having any money for yourself?
• Stop you from having medical assistance?
• Scare or hurt you by being violent (e.g. hitting, choking, smashing things, locking you in, driving dangerously to frighten you)?
• Pressure or force you to do sexual things that you don’t want to do?
• Threaten to hurt you, or to kill themselves if you say you want to end the relationship?
• Interfere with your online access or access to the phone?
• Hurt your children, or performed violent actions in front of your children?

Does your partner, boyfriend or girlfriend, flatmate, carer, or family member make you feel:

• Fearful or scared?
• Anxious?
• Sick?
• Numb?
• Like you have no confidence?
• Are you having trouble sleeping because of these feelings?
• Do you have physical symptoms, such as tense muscles or racing heart beat because of these feelings?
• Do you have trouble concentrating because of these feelings?

If you have answered ‘yes’ to any of these, then there are signs that you are not being treated right, or that you are being abused. If you don't feel safe, respected and cared for, then something isn't right. Domestic and family violence can involve lots of types of abuse.

If you want to talk to someone about these things call the 24hr Domestic Violence Line on 1800 65 64 63.

You can also get help from a range of services specific to your situation.

Checklist produced by the Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoria (republished with permission).